In the world of procurement and supplier management, the temptation to play hardball to get the best prices is strong. Yet an aggressive approach based on systematically criticizing your business partners might actually be your worst strategy. Let’s explore why kindness in negotiation isn’t just an ethical matter, but a genuine performance lever for your results.

The Paradox of Criticism: When Undervaluing Costs More

Picture this familiar scene: you’re in negotiations with a supplier and, to justify a price reduction request, you start listing all their flaws—poor service, insufficient quality, missed deadlines… But let’s pause for a moment.

As Marie-Laure, a negotiation expert, points out: “If I think the supplier is so bad, why keep working with them? It sends the impression of inconsistency to say: ‘You’re terrible, but we’d still like a 15% discount.’”

This fundamental contradiction undermines your position. Criticizing a supplier in negotiations is essentially saying you’re willing to work with someone bad as long as it’s cheaper. What does that say about your company’s image and quality standards?

The Psychological Impact on Your Sales Counterpart

The Human Reaction to Criticism

A salesperson who feels attacked and undervalued will have no desire to help the buyer secure better terms. This is a natural human reaction: when faced with aggression, we close up and adopt a defensive posture.

Building Rather Than Destroying

Marie-Laure offers an insightful perspective: “One of my goals in supplier management is that when I call the salesperson, they pick up. During a negotiation, they can very easily choose not to.”

This highlights a commonly overlooked truth: your salesperson has the power to help you—or ignore you. A good buyer’s goal is to ensure the salesperson answers the phone and wants to help, which requires building a positive relationship.

Alternative Strategies for Successful Negotiation

1. A Factual and Constructive Approach

Instead of criticizing, present objective data:

• Market benchmarks

• Changes in purchase volumes

• Opportunities for mutual growth

• Factual budget constraints

Factual arguments should be combined with a relational approach to maximize negotiation success.

2. Mutual Understanding of the Stakes

Take time to understand:

• Your supplier’s constraints

• Their sales objectives

• Their actual room for maneuver

• Opportunities for shared value creation

3. Valuing the Partnership

Highlight:

• Past successes together

• Future collaboration prospects

• The mutual benefits of a win-win agreement

• The long-term value of the relationship

The Power of Kindness in Negotiation

Marie-Laure shares her conviction: “Kindness and understanding each other’s challenges make it easier to get the best prices and contribute to client prosperity. My greatest successes were with people I got along well with.”

This experience confirms that kindness and understanding the salesperson’s challenges are more powerful levers than aggression for achieving results.

The Tangible Benefits of a Kindness-Driven Approach

• Privileged access to information: A trusted salesperson will more readily share strategic insights

• Greater flexibility: More room for maneuver in a climate of trust

• Creative solutions: Collaboration opens the door to innovative options

• Long-term relationships: Strong partnerships generate lasting savings

Putting Kind Negotiation into Practice

Before the negotiation

• Prepare your factual, judgment-free arguments

• Identify possible areas of alignment

• Define your goals in terms of mutual value creation

During the negotiation

• Start by acknowledging the value of the partnership

• Present your requests as shared opportunities

• Actively listen to your counterpart’s constraints

• Propose solutions that benefit both sides

After the negotiation

• Thank them for their time, regardless of the outcome

• Maintain contact outside of negotiation periods

• Celebrate shared successes

Conclusion: Kindness as a Competitive Advantage

In a world where cost pressure is constant, it may seem counterintuitive to adopt a kind approach in negotiations. Yet top-performing professionals have realized that criticizing suppliers is not only counterproductive but also damaging to the company’s image.

By building relationships based on mutual respect and understanding of each other’s stakes, you create the ideal conditions for securing the best results. Kindness is not weakness—it’s a sophisticated strategy that acknowledges the human dimension of any commercial negotiation.

The best prices and terms aren’t achieved by devaluing your partners, but by creating an environment where everyone has a stake in shared success. This is the true art of modern negotiation.

Ready to transform your supplier negotiations? Discover how Freqens can help you optimize supplier relationships and achieve better results through data-driven insights and a collaborative approach. Contact us for a personalized demo.